Empathy, Caring, Love . . .

I just knew I had to go back "home" . . . and I had been feeling it for weeks. 
I was born in Wisconsin, my parents, brother and I moved to central Iowa
when I was eleven. My going "back home" wasn't to the city where we lived as a family
in central Iowa, (but not far from there) . . .

The "going home" was to visit my brother. We are the "only" remaining of our small family.

I feel changed . . .

A bit of history. My parents were born in Wisconsin. Met in college . . . sweethearts from the beginning, (as I have absorbed their life story along the way. This is "taking me back" but important as I reflect on "life and home.")

My dad was born into a very large family. . . . my grandfather worked the stockyards, I don't remember my grandmother working outside of home.

My mom was also born into a very large family . . . my grandfather owned a clothing store and worked "at the courthouse" . . . I don't remember my grandmother working outside of home.

As I remember back to each of my grandparents homes. I remember simplicity in my dad's home and formality in my mom's home. I remember warmth, love and a steadiness in their homes. I remember my dad's mom, very ill and dying young. I remember my mom's dad dying a sudden death when I was in high school.

I remember wringer washer washing machines, washer boards, sheets blowing in the wind, good food fragrances, prayers before meals, aunts, uncles, cousins, the clomp, clomp sound of the horses delivering milk, stories, laughter, hard work, much more . . .

I remember my dad telling the story of walking from his home each day to attend college a few miles away. I also remember he attended this state college because of his athletic ability. He graduated and went on to be a teacher, principal, superintendent of schools. I also remember the story of the Green Bay Packers asking him to play with them and turning it down to attend college instead. (This was back in the early thirties.). I remember listening to baseball games on the radio, The Shadow, the Cubs . . . the White Sox . . . playing checkers, yuchre, hearts, cribbage . . .

I remember my mom telling me about her attending college and meeting my dad, talking about those days, her friends, their friends, basketball, football . . . and cheering for my dad. I remember her telling me she knew she always wanted to be a teacher. (She also graduated from this college and eventually became a teacher, principal of an elementary school.) I remember home cooked foods, sheets on the line, being read stories, playing outdoors, sewing, knitting booties for many babies, hand made clothing, needlepoint, banana cream pie, Cornish pasty, a fur coat, my mom always caring for my older, often very ill, brother.

I remember my brother . . . selfless, humble, quiet, artistic, fisherman, alone, always building, cabin, boats, fishing together, friend in my late husband, solitary, teacher, graduated from the college where my parents did, (me too) painting, sculpting, pen, ink, watercolor, chalk . . . colored pencil . . . antiques, collections, pottery, Roseville, picture frames, often not well, no complaints, quiet, suffering alone.

I remember honesty, work ethic, kindness, truth, regard, respect, warmth, simple, wide open spaces, corn fields, gardens, flowers, birch trees, togetherness, responsibility, excitement, fun, laughter, saving for things, goodness, listening, faith, sitting at the table, decisions, eating together, unity . . .

I needed to "go back home" . . .
and didn't realize how naked I was feeling until I arrived there . . .

I was where I needed to be . . .
my soul felt rest, resilience, authentic, kind, truth, caring . . . love . . .

and then we left . . . drove back home to Michigan . . .

oh my

"going home"
having my daughter with me

seeing my brother weep in surprise to see her

wonderful beyond words

sacred

more than I had dreamed
there was laughter like no other

I wish you could hear her tell the story of me and

ketchup, sunglasses, "order #1093"

~